OptimistLab

The Best Way to Help People

This article will help you understand how you can truly be of assistance to others.

Even though it’s the title of this article, I tend to be a bit allergic to using the term “help people” (as in my purpose in life is to help people) because it seems to imply that the helper is better equipped than the helpee to understand what he or she needs. Also, I think it suggests that someone in the helping mode has the power to make healing, growth, and so on, happen.

Of course, no one can force growth or healing in another person. We all get that.

But it’s also the case that no person can adequately decide what is the most helpful, healing or productive course of action for another person. This may be a little harder to swallow, but every person is always best equipped to make these decisions for themselves.

All of us, who want to be of assistance to others, can teach, can talk, can write, be a living example, maybe even radiate a little (or a lot!!) of that divine light. All of these things are wonderful, but none of it can determine what will be most useful for someone at any given time.

Folks who are searching for what I, or you, have to offer will utilize what we share in any way they like—but in the end, it’s always up to them. Our responsibility is only to take really good care of ourselves, and trust that others will find their own way.

Maybe this sounds selfish. And I say, well, yeah, it is selfish. But in a good way.

Let me explain: The most empowering thing you can ever do for someone is to honor their particular journey. Even, and this is important, even if that journey is not one you can currently see any value in. Even, if you disagree with every single aspect of that journey.

When you honor someone in this way, you help reflect back to them the ultimate freedom which is at the heart of this universe. And you display an innate trust in their ability to listen to their own guidance.

What’s the easiest way to allow someone have their own journey? Relax and take care of your own stuff. It’s a win win, if you think about it: You shower yourself with nothing but kindness, compassion, and respect and ultimately find yourself in a better position to offer these things to another.

The key here is the complete acceptance of the person you wish to assist. That involves acceptance of their particular path and all the choices involved in the path. It means you trust that every single choice made by that person is a perfect one—and exactly what it needed to be at the time it was made.

So, take it easy, enjoy your own life. A life enjoyed will serve as an inspiration to others. Let those you’d like to help find, and act on, that inspiration on their own.